Today's jokes are brought to you by NPR, who wants to remind you that even with all their bosses having been fired and Congress threatening to take away their funding, they are still accepting your donations and tips on job openings.
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is going to be representing himself in court. Hes accused of paying for sex with a minor. Of course, he's offended at the accusation; he's never had to pay for sex! And as a business owner, he knows that paying a minor for sex would be a clear violation of Italy's child labor laws. I'm kidding. Italy has no child labor laws. That's actually going to be his defense.
Lindsay Lohan showed up in court this week. She left without a plea bargain but with a gavel, the bailiff's wallet, two watches, and a set of car keys for which she's still trying to find the matching car.
Michele Bachmann made a pretty big mistake this week, telling a crowd in New Hampshire that they were in the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. Of course, that actually happened in Massachusetts. I think people should give her a break, though. She's already demonstrated a problem with looking off slightly to the right. Apparently that also extends to maps. Of course, the people of New Hampshire were happy just to be recognized for anything, even if by accident. With Bachmann outflanking her in Dumb, Sarah Palin is going to have to turn up the Crazy if she has any hope of standing out during the Republican primaries.
Opening night for Spider Man Turn Off The Dark has been pushed back again-- this time to the middle of June. Despite being in previews, it remains Broadway's highest grossing musical week after week. Amtrak is taking notes. They didn't know people would pay to watch a trainwreck.
There's a Charlie Sheen virus spreading through Facebook and Twitter. A viral outbreak with Charlie Sheen as the source? Come on, you knew it was only a matter of time before that happened.
That's it for now. Come back all week for Seth and Spencer!
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