Okay, everybody, looks like we've got some jokes for you today. Hope that's why you came.
A Montana Radio Shack location is offering a free gun with the purchase and installation of Dish Network, which is great news for people who love watching television and shooting things.
Remember "Baby Jessica," the little girl who fell into a well and nearly died? Well, she just turned 25 and got access to a trust fund set up for her with donations collected when she was in the well. Looks like she fell ass-backwards into money. Good for her!
In the snack food world, the Frito-Lay company made news this week when they announced their "food" products would be going "all natural." Someone must have told them that salt and oil are "natural." You know what else is natural? Diabetes and heart disease, but no one ever goes bragging about it.
Staying with the world of food and drink, Starbucks is set to unveil a new line of coffee machines that brew a single cup of coffee at a time. It's part of their new product line for painfully alone coffee-lovers.
In Qatar, organizers for the 2022 World Cup announced they're planning to build artificial, remote controlled clouds to provide shade for the games. Also, they're building special watering stations to re-hydrate anyone who has become parched from spitting on poor people.
In Los Angeles, police have closed another 60 medical marijuana dispensaries, thus making the drug completely unavailable to people who want it. History will show that's how we won the war on drugs.
Clothier and soft-core pornography studio Abercrombie & Fitch is under fire for offering a new children's bikini top with padding for flat-chested girls. The company issued a statement saying "we stand behind our product, and we believe it's never too young to encourage women to hate their bodies."
Lastly, in more clothing news, director/actor/orator Sylvester Stallone is moving into the fashion world with a new line of clothes inspired by the films of Rocky and Rambo. They're just like any other clothes, except they're covered in blood. Look for them at K-Mart this summer!
That's all for now, hope your time with us has been hilarious and utterly unproductive. Tell your friends, share us via the magic buttons below, and come see us again. But most importantly, have a wonderful day!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Chime in!