Sorry I was gone last week, but I'm back this week with jokes about crack, weed, snakes, and Apple, all of which pose various dangers to our communities.
Apple Sued Amazon this week over their use of the term "App Store," which Apple claims to own. Apple is in a tough spot. It's hard being Apple and trying to protect a generic term for which it's become known- like "Rich douchebags"
Washington DC's white population has exploded by 31.6% over the past decade according to the census. DC Mayor Marion Berry's first sign of the gentrification came when he started having to order crack in tall, grande, or venti.
A Montanna parks employee was granted workers' comp after being mauled by a grizzly bear he was attempting to feed while high. Let this be a lesson to you high school and college kids. Not all of the ideas you come up with while high are brilliant.
Geraldine Ferraro died this week. She's best remembered as the first woman to run for Vice President. She ran and lost, paving the way for Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton to run and lose. I hear Ferraro almost made it to heaven but ran into a glass ceiling.
A cobra escaped from the Bronx Zoo, and I hope they catch him quickly because you know that none of that time he spent on the inside was spent on actual rehabilitation. Nope, he was just learning from older cobras how to be meaner and more vicious once he got out.
Good stuff, Earnest! I'm a little freaked out by the AWOL Bronx cobra. I wonder if G.I. Joe is on the case.
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