Happy Tuesday! I had some Benadryl tonight, so I need to finish this befoer e;oahe; ks.
Okay, so here's 8 things you should know about the Congressional budget deal!
1. The plan includes sever funding cuts for FEMA; fortunately they have a rainy day fund.
2. The deal won't be passed this week, as the House is closed for Rosh Hashanah. Apparently the House of Representatives is part of Hollywood.
3. The proposed bill will keep the government running for the next six weeks, at which time surely all this partisan bickering will be over with.
4. The Senate initially rejected the deal due to their own internal split on the best way to destroy the country.
5. The cuts to FEMA will be balanced off with private funds, meaning that we will now have corporate branding for all future disasters. Get ready for Hurricane iPhone!
6. The plan includes a provision put in by Senate Republicans to garnish 100% of Harry Reid's lunch money, forever.
7. The congressional record of debate on this package now includes four hours of Mary Landrieu (D-LA) reciting "yo mamma" jokes directed toward Eric Cantor (R-VA).
8. The final deal includes $450 million to repair roads, but none that "poor people use."
That's all! Get yourself back here tomorrow, there will probably be more stuff like this waiting for you. That's all for now! Until then, have a great day!
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