Sunday, September 25, 2011

Monday Morning Monologue - September 26, 2011

Happy Monday! Let's get the week started right: with a list of humorous observations about one topic. This week's topic is, of course, a very timely and important issue for our democracy. The new Facebook layout. Eight things you should know:

1. The new Facebook design will not make your status updates any more interesting. Please try to do something cooler with your life or start making things up.

2. Hidden deep within the new privacy policy are the phrases "Opposite Day" and "just kidding."

3. Blue triangles indicate your likely interest in stories as well as the level of contempt Facebook holds for your intellectual curiosity.

4. The new photostream layout does, in fact, make your ass look fat.

5. Realtime status updates show you how all your friends are wasting time on Facebook and not talking to you. Maybe the problem is you, after all.

6. The "People You May Know" box is being replaced with "People You Would Have Already Friended If You Liked Them, So Should Probably Block Before They Send You A Friend Request and it Gets Awkward" box.

7. Your page name is now a combination of your social security number and the name of your first pet. Oops.

8. In six months you'll think the new design is great.

Alright, I guess that's it. Look at that, an entire day on social networks and not a single Google+ joke. Must be slipping. Maybe there will be one tomorrow. Come back and see! Until then, make it a great day!

1 comment:

Chime in!