Tuesday Morning Monologue - October 2, 2012

Let's make this fast and weird.

Anyone following the Iranian financial markets? What a roller coaster! The rial fell 18% on Monday, to a new record low against the U.S. dollar. Iranian analysts are blaming the country's currency problems on a combination of fluctuating oil prices, increased sanctions and Jews.

In Missouri, Rep. Todd Akin said this week that employers should be allowed to pay women less than men. He then went on to say, "no, I've never heard of the 19th amendment."

But if he's serious about cutting spending, shouldn't Congress be 100% women? We'd save a fortune in salaries.

A new safety report found that Amtrak employees are failing drug tests more often than in previous years, which must mean that Amtrak employees got a raise.

The NHL lockout is still continuing, in case you were wondering.

The Compact Disc turned 30 years old this week. Incidentally, 30 years old is the youngest age of anyone who still buys CDs.

A recent medical study found that children's cognitive development may be harmed by exposure to "secondhand" television. Especially if it's Whitney.

Hotel Transylvania opened at number one in the American box office this weekend, bringing in $43 million and proving that American's can't be trusted with money.

And finally, Kodak announced it will no longer be selling inkjet printers. Instead, they'll be focusing on products that don't irritate the shit out of people.

That's all!