Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Wednesday Morning Monologue - October 17, 2012

Anybody see anything interesting on television last night?

In Cuba, the government is relaxing its travel policy, and will no longer require citizens to obtain an exit visa before leaving. They will be asked, however, to please not defect. No, seriously you guys. No defecting, okay?

Car battery company A123 is entering bankruptcy proceedings. Because they need a little jump start. Oh, that's terrible.

Beyonce will be providing halftime entertainment at this year's Super Bowl, and she said yesterday that she's ready for the big night. So, Beyonce, unlike the Cowboys' defensive line, is ready to play in the Super Bowl.

I made a sports joke!!!!!

Speaking of jokes, Rep. Paul Ryan recently paid a visit to an Ohio soup kitchen after everyone had been fed, left, and the serving hall had been completely cleaned, but still took photos of himself cleaning dishes that were already washed. Shows up late, does unnecessary work, then crows about it? Paul Ryan, are you sure you're not in a union?

In China, Foxconn said they found underage interns working in their factory. The interns have since been fired, and now workers have to get their own coffee.

Just kidding. They don't get any coffee.

In England, letters from Prince Charles to members of government will be kept secret, it was announced.
Probably for the better, as they're likely just more rambling from him about how he'd like to be a tampon.

Hulk Hogan is suing his his friend and a gossip website over the leaking of his sex tape on the Internet. Also suing: anyone who watched the tape.

And finally, Mattel profits soared this quarter on the strength of worthless pieces of plastic. Just like Citibank.

And that's it!

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