Monday, October 15, 2012

Tuesday Morning Monologue - October 16, 2012

Enjoy or don't. It's still gonna be here.

The former captain of the Costa Concordia showed up yesterday for his trial in an Italian court. It was a good day for him, though, because on his way to the court he only killed 12 people.

The Rolling Stones are going on tour for their 50th anniversary, because apparently even their IRAs have gone to hell.

ACLU accused Morgan Stanley of engaging in predatory lending practices. In a related story, they've also accused water of getting people wet.

Felix Baumgarter's free fall from outer space broke viewer records on YouTube, but probably because he sneakily titled the feed "Fat Guy Gets Pwned by Kittens."

North Koreans in China say that life has not improved for average people in North Korea, leading to speculation that Mitt Romney may try for a presidential run.

This year's Nobel Prizes have finally been awarded, so now you can finally find out who won your office Nobel Pool.

Doctors found recently that people who enjoy life tend to live longer than people who don't. So, good news to people who hate their lives. It'll be over soon.

And finally, White House party crasher Michaele Salahi just got engaged to be married. She will not be sending out invitations.

And that's all!

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