Bad news in Afghanistan. The opium harvest is down by a third. Farmers would be more upset, but they still have two thirds of the opium, so...
They're getting high.
XBOX Live is offering new a la carte karaoke songs this holiday season, just in case you thought you might have a pleasant evening.
The Church of England ruled against accepting female bishops yesterday. It's a tough break for the makers of cassock skirts.
Look it up.
A new report on climate change revealed that if you're 27 or younger, you've never lived through a colder than average month. You've also probably never watched a Steven Spielberg movie without irony.
Firefox adds Facebook integration to its new browser, because screw productivity.
We need to make a correction to earlier piece about Rep. Allan West (R-FL) conceding his House race, being a great big huge douchebag loser, and generally being the type of man who tries to make out with farm animals. We were incorrect. His first name is actually spelled "Allen." Our apologies.
Medical research indicates that there's no increase in heart disease for people who survive e. coli food poisoning, probably because they've puked their hearts out.
And lastly, the NTSB just ditched the BlackBerry smartphone because it has been "failing both at inopportune times and at an unacceptable rate." They've decided to go with the iPhone, because it fails at an acceptable rate. Good to know that the NTSB is using Apple's new Maps application.
Might I suggest you stay home this holiday season?
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