Hi all. Rather than normal jokes, I've culled a series of thoughtful bits of political discourse from my Twitter feed. Now go vote (Obama/Biden, that is).
BTW, Romney cares more about his horse than he does about rising sea levels. And he doesn't care about that horse AT ALL.
That awkward moment when Mitt Romney realizes his campaign hats were made in China, but he could have gotten them cheaper from Indonesia.
Did you know the word "Tea" comes from an old Chinese character that roughly translates to "racist a-hole?"
Just think, if the GOP had been a little bit more unhinged, we might have been given the chance to not vote for Donald Trump.
I'll vote for whichever candidate pledges to use taxpayer money to fund the Ayn Rand Institute.
FYI: "The Walking Dead" wouldn't have been so bleak if Rick and company had single-payer healthcare.
I'd like to be a political speechwriter, because I think it would really help to calcify my crippling cynicism.
What if Nate Silver was the guest star on the most cruel episode of "Punk'd" in history?
Florida Gov. Rick Scott taking to the airwaves to "politely ask poor people to stay home tomorrow."
Is it true that bars can't serve alcohol tomorrow? Because that seems unnaturally cruel.
Did you know the word "Tea" comes from an old Chinese character that roughly translates to "racist a-hole?"
Just think, if the GOP had been a little bit more unhinged, we might have been given the chance to not vote for Donald Trump.
I'll vote for whichever candidate pledges to use taxpayer money to fund the Ayn Rand Institute.
FYI: "The Walking Dead" wouldn't have been so bleak if Rick and company had single-payer healthcare.
I'd like to be a political speechwriter, because I think it would really help to calcify my crippling cynicism.
What if Nate Silver was the guest star on the most cruel episode of "Punk'd" in history?
Florida Gov. Rick Scott taking to the airwaves to "politely ask poor people to stay home tomorrow."
Is it true that bars can't serve alcohol tomorrow? Because that seems unnaturally cruel.
Thanks to Ohio voters, we can be sure that LeBron James will never be President.
This just in: if you think the Electoral College is a great idea, fuck you.
Which is more dangerous: skillful malevolence or incompetent goodness? Trick question. The answer is: Florida.
If you can't convince me to vote for your candidate/issue in 140 characters or less, you will never convince me. Also you must hate freedom.
Voter suppression has a great history in America. Remember the Founding Fathers? Yeah, they'd shit a brick if they knew you could vote.
Does the GOP think poor/minority voters won't appreciate how the GOP wants to help? Or just smart enough to see how they're getting boned?
John Husted just issued a decree that voting locations in Ohio will be enforcing "Opposite Day for Black People" tomorrow.
This just in: if you think the Electoral College is a great idea, fuck you.
Which is more dangerous: skillful malevolence or incompetent goodness? Trick question. The answer is: Florida.
If you can't convince me to vote for your candidate/issue in 140 characters or less, you will never convince me. Also you must hate freedom.
Voter suppression has a great history in America. Remember the Founding Fathers? Yeah, they'd shit a brick if they knew you could vote.
Does the GOP think poor/minority voters won't appreciate how the GOP wants to help? Or just smart enough to see how they're getting boned?
John Husted just issued a decree that voting locations in Ohio will be enforcing "Opposite Day for Black People" tomorrow.
I want to know what kind of calculator Nate Silver uses. I bet it's a special TI-85, where all the buttons lean to the left.
Ignorance has its place in politics, for sure. Just like bribery.
Ignorance has its place in politics, for sure. Just like bribery.
Telling everyone to vote is like telling everyone they should be parents. Some people just aren't ready yet. Get informed first.
That's all. Cheers!
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