CEO of Waffle House, Joe W. Rogers, Jr., said that he's been blackmailed over an affair with his maid, and that he's a victim of his own stupidity. That also describes the typical Waffle House patron.
Lance Armstrong's cancer charity dropped his name yesterday, feeling that they'd get a more positive response with their new name: Nut Sacks.
In China, Xi Jingping was named the new leader of the Communist Party. Donald Trump is demanding to see his birth certificate.
In other political news, Mitt Romney said that President Obama won by giving "gifts" to voters. And by "gifts" he meant "tax returns."
Also, the GOP challenge to the vote count in Florida was callled off after Mitt Romney formally gave up on the state. Florida gave up on him long ago.
In the CIA/Petraeus affair, a CIA spokesman said there's no indication that sensitive information was leaked by Gen. Petraeus to Paula Broadwell during their affair because the agency had revoked Petraeus' penis' security clearance years ago.
Starbucks is buying tea retailer Teavana for $620million. That price may seem high, but you can reuse the stock like two or three times with fresh water.
And finally, Senate Republicans are threatening to filibuster if Susan Rice is nominated to the State Department. Seems like a solid plan, until she comes back in two years to run for Senate...
That's all, yolks.
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