Hot news for hot people! Let's have some jokes!
In Olympic news, seven athletes from Cameroon have surreptitiously left the Olympic village, meaning that the country has totally won the Defecting for Economic Reasons event!
The NFL's first female referee said she isn't intimidated by her new role, promising that she can be just as awful as any male referee. Go get 'em!
In economic news, McDonald's blamed the sluggish economy for weak sales last quarter. Also, no toys.
Productivity among U.S. workers rose 1.6% during the 2nd quarter this year, leading to speculation that Facebook must have been down at some point.
Hurricane Ernesto is weakening over southern Mexico, probably due to diarrhea. Wouldn't be the first.
In Louisiana, a charter school is forcing girls to take pregnancy tests, and will ban any pregnant girls from school. This may be illegal, though, considering it violates the "No Fetus Left Behind" Act. Also, why would a school want to expel students who can pass a standardized test?
Gillian Anderson is back on the market, after breaking up with her longtime partner Mark Griffiths, and somehow I just got a boner in the year 2000.
And finally, the latest film adaptation of The Great Gatsby has been pushed back to a summer 2013 release, presumably to add more Channing Tatum and make it 3D.
Carol Channing Tatum. Think about that image.
Okay, that'll do, pig. And by "pig" I mean "the part of my brain that writes jokes." Bye!
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