Thursday, August 16, 2012

Friday Morning Monologue - August 17, 2012

Oh, what a wonderful vacation it's been. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And to cap it all off, here is the most-viewed post in the history of Late Night Morning. Enjoy! (again?)


Tuesday Morning Monologue - May 24, 2011

Happy Tuesday! Let's get to it.

In Philadelphia, an alleged crime boss was arrested yesterday. In hindsight, his only mistake was being a crime boss.

Speaking of crime, a man in Colorado Springs robbed a Wells Fargo bank while on crutches. Witnesses reported feeling terrified and inspired.

In fake crime, a 44-year old Canadian man told his wife that he had been mugged, rather than admit that he was unable to secure tickets to Oprah Winfrey's last show. Too bad Oprah's going off the air, because that sounds like a good show topic.

Speaking of talk show hosts, Rikki Lake said recently that being in love has made her fat. Still no explanation as to what made her a terrible actress.

In end of the world news, Biblical math-enthusiast Harold Camping, the 89-year old who predicted the world would end on Saturday, clarified yesterday that the actual end of the world will occur on October 21st. It's amazing that Camping has stuck to his guns on the whole "I figured out when the world is going to end" business, rather than just admit that he doesn't understand metaphors.

In other news signaling the end of the world, let's talk about the Billboard Music Awards. At the ceremony this weekend, Rihanna's security detail kept little Justin Bieber from talking to the star at the end of the program. Bieber, obviously angered by the snub, kept his cool and didn't bite anyone. Are you taking notes, Chris Brown?

Speaking of taking notes, TMZ is reporting that the Schwarzenegger love child story was initially leaked to the press by Maria Shriver's people. Seems fair, seeing as how the whole thing started with a leak from Arnold.

And lastly, Mark Zuckerberg said this week that he thinks children under 13 should be allowed to use Facebook, due to the great potential for education afforded by the website. NAMBLA issued a statement of support.

That's all for now, I guess. See you tomorrow! Till, then, don't forget your sunblock, and have a great day!

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