Greetings, fair travelers. Prithee, halt thine surfing of yonder webbe and partake in the repast of joviality collected herein to amuse and delight the humours of the minde! Oh, man, that's awful. Can you just pretend you read a nice introductory paragraph? I'll do better tomorrow. By Zeus' gleaming taile, I fhalle!
Sinead O'Connor just got divorced for the fourth time, after only 18 days of marriage. Let's see... pop star, bald-headed, lots of divorces. It's official. Britney Spears is America's Sinead O'Connor.
In other entertainment news, this year's Oscar ballots went out in the mail yesterday! And who says the Academy is out of touch?
Speaking of out of touch, Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson announced he will not seek reelection next year. In the last three years he's been able to torpedo unemployment aid, foreclosure and finance reforms as well as the public healthcare option. Said the Senator, "there's really nothing else for me to do for America, unless we can start bringing poor people into the Senate Chambers so I can physically kick them in the stomachs. No? That's not happening? Oh, that's too bad." He then sat down on a sick puppy and killed it.
A burglar in Pittsburgh was arrested recently after he posted pictures of his loot on Facebook. Police found the photos in his album, "I'm a Dumbass."
President Obama's job approval rating is higher than it's been since July, which is a strong indication that America has collectively decided to just get drunk this holiday season.
New Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees set the single-season passing record last night. Tim Tebow still holds the single-season prayer record.
Egypt's courts outlawed the practice of conducting mandatory virginity tests on female detainees on the grounds that IT IS INSANE!
And finally, a Colorado man returned $10,000 he found at a Las Vegas airport to its rightful owner because he wanted to teach his kids about right and wrong. When asked for comment, his daughter said, "yep, that's great. Way better than Disney World."
And that's it. We wille be back anon. Till then, have a great day!
can I post one and are you still paying people to post comments so it looks like you're popular, oh, er um, famous?
ReplyDeletesend the check to the PO Box.
ReplyDeletelove the work, you are the best.