No time for banter today. Just jokes.
Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen is working on a new spaceflight company. Paul, if ever there was a time to prevent crashes, this is it.
Speaking of software giants, the papers from Apple's founding sold at auction for $1.6 million. Steve Wozniak got nothing.
In Vancouver, a bear was seen riding on a garbage truck yesterday. Cops removed him once they realized he wasn't a member of the government employee union. Rules are rules, bear.
The U.S. Mint is phasing out gold coins, much to the disappointment of pirates.
Derek Jeter reportedly had been giving autographed balls to women he has over night stands with. That may seem cold and impersonal, but it's a lot better than the souvenir A-Rod has been giving out.
That would be herpes.
In other health news, rapper 50 Cent is releasing a new health guidebook. It's called Get Fit or Die Trying.
CBS is expanding Face the Nation to one hour, probably because Americans have larger faces today.
And finally, the Oscar award Orson Welles won for Citizen Kane is going up for auction, reminding us all that no matter how great you are in this life, eventually strangers will end up paying through your possessions in search of trinkets. If only there was some sort of film that could drive that message home... Oh well. Maybe someday.
And that's all. Thanks for a great year! See you tomorrow!
Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen is working on a new spaceflight company. Paul, if ever there was a time to prevent crashes, this is it.
Speaking of software giants, the papers from Apple's founding sold at auction for $1.6 million. Steve Wozniak got nothing.
In Vancouver, a bear was seen riding on a garbage truck yesterday. Cops removed him once they realized he wasn't a member of the government employee union. Rules are rules, bear.
The U.S. Mint is phasing out gold coins, much to the disappointment of pirates.
Derek Jeter reportedly had been giving autographed balls to women he has over night stands with. That may seem cold and impersonal, but it's a lot better than the souvenir A-Rod has been giving out.
That would be herpes.
In other health news, rapper 50 Cent is releasing a new health guidebook. It's called Get Fit or Die Trying.
CBS is expanding Face the Nation to one hour, probably because Americans have larger faces today.
And finally, the Oscar award Orson Welles won for Citizen Kane is going up for auction, reminding us all that no matter how great you are in this life, eventually strangers will end up paying through your possessions in search of trinkets. If only there was some sort of film that could drive that message home... Oh well. Maybe someday.
And that's all. Thanks for a great year! See you tomorrow!
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