Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Wednesday Morning Monologue - July 3, 2013

The Vatican announced that Pope John Paul II is moving through the process of sainthood, and could be declared a saint this year. His kids must be so proud.

In Canada, two people are being held in conjunction with a plot to detonate a bomb at Parliament in conjunction with Canada Day celebrations. In a related story, at least two people remembered Canada Day.

Christian Bale denied rumors this week that he would be playing Batman in upcoming Justice League films. We get it. You're just playing Bruce Wayne. *wink!*

New York City will soon have its own ".nyc" Internet domain name. It will be open to the public just as soon as they figure out how to digitize rats and garbage smells.

Edward Snowden is having terrible luck finding a nation to grant him asylum. Which may explain all the Craigslist ads posted under the category "M seeks Political Asylum."

In Chicago, Teamsters have gone on strike specifically in the funeral home industry. Additional workers have been brought in to try and break the strike. In the meantime, Chicagoans have been asked to please postpone their deaths until the dispute is resolved.

Computer maker Razer is debuting a new laptop built specifically for gaming and for gamers. Among its features are the Haswell-based Core i7-4702HQ processor, Nvidia GTX 765M graphics card, and a suped-up exhaust fan to blow Cheetos crumbs away from the hard drive.

And finally, American Olympic bobsledder Lolo Jones drew the ire of the Internet when she made fun of one of the witness in the George Zimmerman murder trial. The stunned athlete was overjoyed to find out that anyone knew who the hell she was.

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