Friday, July 12, 2013

Friday Morning Monologue - July 12, 2013

George Clooney is single again, proving once more that women just can't be pleased.

Shares of Amazon.com stock are at an all-time high of $300, although you can probably get them cheaper online.

Speaking of Amazon, they're getting into the comic book publishing game, which is bed news for writers and artists who will now have to actually deliver content the next dame.

In Brazil, football fans are up in arms over a proposed new rule that would ban fans from getting shirtless at the Maracana stadium. So there goes the NASCAR partnership.

A federal judge has put a stop to invasive, unnecessary "groin searches" performed on inmates at Guantanamo Bay. The groin searches will still be available at all U.S. airports.

Metta World Peace is no longer on the Los Angeles Lakers after the team let him go yesterday. It's part of a new plan for the Lakers to make sure that Kobe Bryant is the only player on the team. And he kinda was last year.

Paula Deen dumped her legal team yesterday because she "needed to get some Jews" to represent her.

And finally, the Chicago Cubs have finally reached an agreement with the city to pay for a new Jumbotron at Wrigley Field. Said one city negotiator, "it's the best the Cubs will ever look."

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