Happy Wednesday. Are you surviving the heat? If you aren't then you're probably dead, and at the risk of sounding prejudiced, I don't want dead people reading my blog. Go read the Drudge Report or something.
If you're not dead, then I have some tips for you on surviving the summer heat that are about as useful as people asking you if it is hot enough for you. Hate those guys...
* Ancient Egyptians used to spread crocodile dung on their skin to keep cool. Try it! And post your results on YouTube.
* In the 1920s, people used to go to the movie theaters to stay cool. Build a time machine, go back to the 1920s and enjoy all the ice-cooled air you can stand! Oh, and also, maybe try and do something about that Hitler fella.
* Mammals are warm-blooded. Therefore, the more blood in your body, the hotter you're going to be. See if you can't do something about that.
* Move north.
* Buddhists believe that our desire is the source of our suffering. So, if you're suffering in the heat, it's your own fault, you greedy asshole.
* Nerves carry sensory data, like heat, to our brains. Lots of household cleaning products cause nerve damage. You do the math.
* Get naked. Unless you are ugly.
* Turn up the air conditioner, numbnuts. It's too late to do anything about climate change, so go crazy!
That's all for now! Stay cool, Internet!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Chime in!