Good day to you. Let's get right to the joking around portion of today's blog.
A recent medical study indicates that loneliness is bad for your health and can shorten your life. So, good news. If you're miserable and alone, you'll die sooner and get it over with. The study was funded in part by the Morrissey Institute.
In Penfield, New York, a woman started a cuddling service, offering cuddles and snuggles for $60 an hour. Small price to pay to keep from dying early.
The Isuzu motor company recalled thousands of its Rodeo Sport and Amigo SUVs over safety concerns. Also, Charles Leisure had to be put down.
NBC and Facebook announced an agreement to share advertising rights for the summer Olympics. Under the agreement, NBC is responsible for losing money on television while Facebook agrees to throw away money online.
Virgin CEO Richard Branson announced his company will soon be launching satellites as part of a program that is "in no way related to super villainy."
President Obama said last week he will ease sanctions on Burma. Myanmar, however, is still on his shit list.
A Pew study found that an increasing number of people are turning to YouTube for their news, probably because news of horrible tragedies is easier to handle if it's delivered by a cat playing the piano.
And finally, an Army reservist invented an iPhone case that serves as a stun gun, delivering 650,000 volts. Or, it can be used for one extra hour of talk time.
C'est fini!
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