Happy hump day. Read that how you will. Got a lot to get through today, hope you're ready for it. Alright, let's get serious.
Sanford, Florida, just hired a new interim police chief. Their main criteria for hiring: looking for someone who hasn't seen the news in the last three months.
Five anarchists were arrested in a plot to blow up a Cleveland bridge yesterday or in 1908. Fortunately, no one was injured in the plot, and LeBron James' title as Biggest Asshole In Cleveland History is unchallenged.
Members of British Parliament said yesterday that Rupert Murdoch is "not a fit boss" for NewsCorp. In the U.K., "fit" is also slang for attractive. Both interpretations work here.
Also in the U.K., the National Health Service is working with Facebook to promote organ donation. Tie it in to Farmville, and you'll be neck-deep in kidneys.
French National Front leader Marine Le Pen said she would be abstaining from the upcoming presidential election. Dominique Strauss-Kahn responded to the news by saying "what is that word, 'abstaining?'"
Duran Duran will be headlining an outdoor concert to mark the beginning of the Olympics this year. Also joining them in this retro event: The Soviet Union.
Studio spokespersons for MGM said that the next James Bond film will explore a more "depressed" James Bond, which I suppose explains why they have him drinking Heineken.
And finally, Nadya Suleman, now broke and fending for 14 children, said that she's open to acting in a pornographic film, although she won't touch another "human's flesh." Thanks, Octomom, for continuing to make things creepy. Although I think down the line she might come to regret making the distinction of not touching "human" flesh.
Yep, leaving it at that. See you tomorrow!
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