Hey, it's International Blog Week! No, it's probably not. But it's a new week, with new jokes.
And they are...
James Cameron boarded a submarine yesterday and journeyed to the deepest part of the Earth. It's like he's a metaphor for not his films.
President Obama warned North Korea against restarting their missile program, saying it would accomplish nothing and only serve to further isolate them from the rest of the world. In that sense, a ballistic missile program is just like decades of ignorance and racism in Mississippi.
Dick Cheney got a heart transplant over the weekend, so there's one less runaway on the streets. By the way, great work, Science.
Geraldo Rivera said on FOX News last week that Trayvon Martin's hoodie had a contributing role in his shooting death. Like all those monks that keep getting blown away.
Perhaps he'd change his tune if the hoodie lobby were pumping more money into conservative politics...
Gallagher survived a heart attack, but announced his retirement from comedy. This shocking development left comedy fans around the world wondering "how was Gallagher still around?"
Film director Todd Phillips said that the next Hangover film will be the last. Which is oddly similar to what alcoholics say.
In Vienna last week, musicians performed a recently discovered piece written by Mozart as a child. The long lost work was called "Symphony for Anna, the Booger Eater."
In Mexico, Pope Benedict XVI held an open-air mass, where he condemned the country's violent drug trade. Because what kind of monsters would use violence to make sure people used their drugs? That would be positively medieval.
Ugh, my hand got so heavy as I typed that.
And finally, a Finnish study found that people who live alone are 80% more likely to experience depression that those who live with others. The numbers are even worse for people who live in Finland.
...and scene. Come back tomorrow! Until then, thank you for reading, and have a great day!
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