Broadway director Julie Taymor said yesterday that she is suing the producers of Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark for depriving her of her share of the show's royalties and violating her creative rights by forcing her out of the production. The producers offered her a chance to share in the production, however, saying they'd be happy to break her legs. Seems fair.
Stereotypical Hollywood douchebag Brett Ratner stepped down from his role as producer of the Oscar ceremony after he used a gay slur while promoting The Tower Heist. Ratner apologized for the remark, as well as for unintentionally linking the gay community to one of his shitty movies.
In other douchebags-stepping-down news, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi announced he will be resigning this week to devote himself to his first love: hookers.
Human Pez-dispenser Michelle Duggar is expecting her 20th child with husband Jim Bob. Or so she says... But seriously, enough people have passed through her uterus that it now qualifies as a flop house.
In an unrelated story, scream-rockers Linkin Park are partnering with the United Nations, for some reason, in order to provide clean energy to Haitian families impacted by the earthquake. Initially, the families refused to accept the assistance until they were assured that it in no way required them to enjoy the music of Linkin Park.
Yesterday in Blackmon-Leoni Township, Michigan, police caught a six-foot alligator near the Pathway Community Church. So in case Joe Paterno asks, that's what you're supposed to do when you see a six-foot predator on the prowl.
Actor and beard-enthusiast Matthew Fox demanded his trial for punching a bus driver go to a full jury. He'd better hope they didn't watch the LOST finale.
And finally, the White House issued an official statement yesterday denying that the administration has had any contact with aliens. Sure, that's what they say, but until I see a birth certificate, there's no way you're going to convince me James Carville is human.
Whew. That was a lot to get through. If you made it this far, you deserve a treat. So, here you go:
More tomorrow! Till then, have a great day and keep shouting at your computer!
Spiderman:TOTD really is the gift that keeps on giving to the comedy community, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteWhat's nice about that Brett Ratner joke is that it's going to take very little modification to recycle it tomorrow for Eddie Murphy.
And finally, I'm giving you the slow clap for taking something that's making me livid and making a joke of it in just the right tone. That tone being, "Joe Paterno is a scum sucking reptile." No offense to reptiles.
Thank goodness for heroes and villains.
ReplyDeleteEverything she said.
ReplyDeletepalabra.
sethjoseph, you get better and better and better.