Good morning, friends and strangers! And good morning to my stranger friends. You know who you are. But who am I to judge? After all, I wrote these ridiculous jokes, which you're about to read. Enjoy!
In a disturbing new trend, some parents have begun sending lollipops laced with chicken pox to other parents, to spread the virus to uninfected children. Rick Perry has vetoed a similar plan in Texas to distribute the HPV vaccine.
Also in Texas, a man went on trial yesterday for allegedly trying to sneak out of the country to join Al Qaida. He faces 25 years in prison for attempting to aid the enemy, and an additional two weeks of grounding for sneaking out after curfew.
A study released this month revealed that approximately half of US students in grades 7 - 12 face sexual harassment while the rest are ugly.
Speaking of harassment, yet another woman has released details of an alleged unwanted sexual advance from Herman Cain. It's amazing that he keeps trying, considering how many times he gets rejected. It's like he's the Ron Paul of sexual harassment.
In Arizona, Prince Harry surprised diners in the small town of Gila, when he stopped in for lunch with friends from his military unit. He was then ejected from the state for being an alien. Looks like it isn't a racist law after all.
At Harvard, students in an economics class staged a protest walk out this week, because they felt their professor favored the rich over the poor. In a related story, teachers in the English department said "see, everyone: that's irony." They then went back to studying how to be unemployable.
International inspectors said this month that Iran is about to go nuclear. They first suspected it when, during a recent inspection, they found scientists reading copies of Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, and I've Got a Bunch of Enriched Uranium.
And finally, the Greek Prime Minister resigned this week, ending his government. The Greek Parliament said they will now form a new government, and they plan to deal with the debt crisis by not answering the old government's phone or email.
And that's it. Enjoy the rest of your day, weirdos. See you tomorrow! Till then, have a great day.
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