Monday, September 14, 2015

September 14, 2015: It'll be a Coldplay in Hell before Kim Davis does her job

After a brief hiatus, here we are again.

Popular UK band Coldplay made a surprise visit to India to shoot a new music video. This is a vast improvement over previous "surprise visits" to India from the UK that involved shooting.

Speaking of India, Prime Minister Narendra Modi will be joining Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg for a Q&A session about "how communities can work together to address social and economic challenges." Also, Modi will be asking how he can uninstall Facebook Messenger.

In other tech news, Google just hired the former Hyundai CEO John Krafcik to run their self-driving car division. It should be a perfect fit for Krafcik, who has plenty of experience with cars no one wants to drive.

Archaeologists have uncovered 10,000-year-old stone tools in Seattle. Scientists speculate that the tools were used to make primitive lattes. Or flannel. Whichever punchline you prefer.

Also in Seattle, schools will be closed again today for the fourth day of an ongoing teacher strike. Parents are scrambling to find daycare solutions, and may be forced to take their kids to the office. By which I mean Starbucks. If this strike goes on much longer, it could be a huge blow to the Poorly-Written Novels and Screenplays industry.

A recent Washington Post-ABC poll found that Hillary Clinton is losing support among white women. Thankfully, white women's support for Shonda Rhimes is at an all-time high.

Embattled county clerk Kim Davis will be back at work today following her imprisonment for being held in contempt of court. Rumor has it she will continue to defy the federal court order and return to prison, hoping for her own prison reality show: Orange is the New Bigot.

Have a great day! See you tomorrow?

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