Hey, where ya been?
In a really bizarre story, a young Florida couple kidnapped their own children from their grandparents and then sailed to Cuba. Apparently to meet Jay-Z and Beyonce. Ultimately the fugitives were located, and Cuban authorities agreed to return them to the U.S. And the worst part about this is now these kids will be forced to grow up in Florida.
A British study found that children who regularly eat cereal for breakfast have a lower body mass index than children who don't. Conversely, adults who eat breakfast cereal for dinner are usually fatasses.
The H7N1 Bird Flu strain was found in South African ostrich farms, which is bad news for budget-conscious grocery shoppers hoping to score some reasonably-priced ostrich.
Japan will start making its own jets, hoping to become a major player in the international jet industry. And they'll succeed, especially if they can make sure their jets transform into giant robots.
Former President Bill Clinton just joined Twitter, and we're all looking forward to when he "accidentally" tweets a picture of his "Rep. Weiner."
A nun plead guilty to stealing over $100,000 in church funds to support her gambling habit. Incidentally, "gambling habit" is what she called her lucky clothes.
Due to the sequester, the U.S. Navy canceled all appearances by the Blue Angels stunt team at air shows for the coming year. And that's fine, because ultimately the private industry is much better at creating air show disasters.
And finally, speaking of disasters, Julie Taymor finally settled her legal dispute with the producers of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. Under the settlement, Ms. Taymor will receive an undisclosed sum of money, and she'll get to break the legs of one dancer for each year the play runs.
And that's it!
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