Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska is trying to push through legislation to rename Mt. McKinley. It probably won't work, but she had to give it a shot.
Clothing store H&M posted lower-than-expected profits due to increased costs and people not wanting to wear crappy clothing.
Chesapeake Energy CEO Aubrey McLendon will step down on April 1, making it a really great April Fool's Joke, but mainly just for Chesapeake shareholders.
Germany just marked the 80th anniversary of Hitler's rise to power. The economy actually saw a small bump of improvement because skyrocketing sales for apology cards. Especially those in Polish and Russian.
Nintendo said that their projected sales for the new Wii U were too optimistic. In other words, they were a wee bit high.
After a "successful" satellite launch by North Korea, South Korea recently stepped up and launched their own satellite. In a related story, Seoul is looking into adding more political prison camps.
A recent study revealed that reading can raise a child's IQ by up to six points, so he'll have a better understanding of the physics behind the wedgies he gets.
And finally, Jim Nabors, AKA "Gomer Pyle, USMC," just married his male partner of 38 years. Nabors would have made it official earlier, but, you know, "don't ask don't tell."
Thanks a lot, Obama.
That's it!
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