Happy new year.
In Hong Kong, authorities are grappling with an epidemic of wasted food. The situation is extremely dire, seeing as how everyone keeps getting hungry an hour later.
The CEO of Safeway is retiring this month. He's got a sizable contract buyout coming his way, and it'll be even bigger if he manages to step down on Double Coupon Day.
Professional golfer Carl Petterssen said this week that the PGA is on a witch hunt against long putters. He made the statement in hopes to get an early start on the "Least Relevant Story of 2013" award. Go get 'em, tiger.
Al Jazeera television announced they're buying Al Gore's "CURRENT TV" in an effort to lose money.
New Jersey Governor Christie blasted John Boehner over Congress' lack of action on relief for Hurricane Sandy, because apparently the Governor just found out that Congress is useless.
Dave Letterman told Oprah Winfrey in a recent interview that he "hurt a lot of people" in his sex scandal, which indicates that Letterman is into some freaky shit.
Congress recently voted to continue the NSA's warrantless surveillance program. So, any agents reading this, please leave comments below.
Anonymous is fine.
And finally, a lesbian couple in Topeka, Kansas, is trying to force the sperm donor who fathered their child to pay child support. Apparently they misunderstood the term "money shot."
THANK YOU!
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