Last week actor and activist Sean Penn said that Port-au-Prince, Haiti, was like Detroit, Michigan. It's not yet clear which city he was attempting to insult.
A woman was arrested in Spain for smuggling cocaine into the country hidden in her breasts. Customs officials became suspicious when they noticed her nipples kept sniffling and wouldn't stop talking.
Google revealed the three most searched for topics on the Internet in 2012 were "Whitney Houston" "Psy" and "Why are we losing to China?"
In Ohio, a hospital is resuming organ transplant surgeries after accidentally throwing a donor kidney in the trash. Understandably, patients are a little wary. You know, because of that old saying, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, oh wait, you can't, because I died from organ failure after you fooled me the first time."
Doctors in Venezuela said that President Chavez faces a tough road to recovery after his latest cancer treatment. Coincidentally, a "tough road to recovery" is what Venezuelans are looking forward to after Chavez' death.
The French Prime Minister said French actor Gerard Depardiue's decision to leave France to avoid higher taxes was "shabby." Coincidentally, "shabby" is the nicest thing said about any film he's made in the last five years.
TripAdvisor just released a rundown of the friendliest cities in the world. Topping the list was Cancun, probably due in large part to their new tourism ad campaign "Cancun: HANDJOBS FOR EVERYONE!"
And finally, President Obama and Speaker Boehner appear to have made progress in their negotiations about the impending fiscal cliff. Good news for them, as the next round of negotiations were set to take place at the Thunderdome, with mediation overseen by THE NIGHT RIDER!
That's it.
Unless your company specializes in handjobs, this information probably won't be helpful for you. In fact, I suspect you are some sort of Spam-person.
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