In California a Taco Bell employee posted a photo to Facebook that showed him apparently licking a stack of taco shells in the restaurant's kitchen. Absolutely disgusting. Does he have any idea what kind of bacteria live on those things?
In an unrelated story, scientists are suggesting that for humanity to survive in the future, we're going to have to start eating insects for our protein. So, Taco Bell is ready.
At Sotheby's auction house, a rare book of Psalms printed in 1640 is expected to bring over $15 million at auction. "Great news," said a guy who is unfamiliar with what Psalms actually say.
Yahoo! announced their search results page is getting a visual makeover. And it now redirects to Google.com
Responding to a dare, a team of Honda engineers have created a lawn mower that can cut grass at speeds of up to 130 miles per hour. It wasn't intended to go that fast, but since it's a Honda, the accelerator kept getting stuck. It's part of Honda's new "Machines of Death" line.
Brazil's Department of Health has discontinued an online ad campaign called "I'm a Happy Prostitute," meant to shed light on health issues related to prostitution, which is legal in Brazil. It has been replaced with "I'm A Miserable Office Worker."
In Arizona, people are up in arms over a 9 foot gargoyle sculpture that prominently features a very visible phallus. Even worse: the gargoyle came from Mexico and stole a job from a hardworking American gargoyle.
Sheriff Arpaio has already arrested the statue and violated its civil rights.
A recent study found that a majority of patients do not access an online video meant to help them prepare for a colonoscopy. Most likely, because it is a video about colonoscopies.
First Lady Michelle Obama shut down a heckler at a speaking engagement this week. When heckled, she responded "hey, I don't come down to where you work and hassle you, buddy. Probably because you don't have a job, since the economy is so weak." It's funnier when she says it.
In Florida, an 84-year old woman won a $370 million Powerball jackpot. "Great," the woman said, "now I can finally afford to retire someplace better than Florida!"
And finally, in Minneapolis, a high school cheerleader was arrested for pimping out a younger student. Administrators at the school became suspicious when they saw what the young woman was doing with the school's spirit stick.
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