Sunday, April 8, 2012

Monday Morning Monologue - April 9, 2012

Welcome back.

Electronics giant Sony will reportedly be cutting 10,000 jobs in an effort to make the company profitable again. You should expect the next installment of Grand Tourismo to feature a lot more used cars.

Film director and explorer James Cameron said he is delaying production on Avatar 2 until after Disney releases Pocahontas 2 so he can copy the plot.

In Moscow, Red Square is now open to anti-Putin protesters. No word yet on if and when they will be allowed to leave.

At the Masters tournament, golfer Tiger Woods lost his temper after a missed shot and threw his golf club. Looks like someone has a little impulse-control problem...

At his Easter Mass, Pope Benedict said that mankind is "groping in the dark." Vatican lawyers were unavailable for comment.

An NBC News producer was fired over the weekend for editing the audio from George Zimmerman's 911 call made before he shot and killed Trayvon Martin, leading to a possible police cover-up of the incident. And so ends the only punishment for anyone involved.

In GOP primary news, Republican superdelegates are saying that, thanks to their support for Romney, that the race is now effectively over. Good. This whole campaign was getting dangerously close to giving voters a voice.

In China, a teenage boy reportedly sold his kidney to raise money for, among other things, an iPhone. Boy, is he going to be pissed when the iPhone 5 comes out. Well, half-pissed, anyway.

And finally, Rob Schneider, comedian and star of the new series Rob, said recently that after decades in show business, he is still "just getting started," which sounds like a threat to me.

And that's it! See you tomorrow!

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