Thursday, September 19, 2013

Thursday Morning Monologue - September 19, 2013

Rumors are swirling that Research In Motion will be laying off several hundred workers in the coming months. Bad news for the workers, but at least now they won't have to use BlackBerrys.

A woman in China was rescued yesterday after 15 days trapped in an abandoned well. She said it was great to finally have some time to herself.

Financial observers in the UK are concerned that as national central banks age, they could weaken, leading to uncontrolled fluctuations in interest rates. Also, they suspect the banks will develop a bunch of crazy ear hair.

Toyota is moving a plant to Russia to begin making RAV4 SUVs for the Russian market because of the truck's incredible popularity. It could have something to do with the fact that the seats are covered in Yankee blue jeans.

Researchers have found evidence that botox injections into the bladder may help with incontinence. Also, it makes your bladder way sexier.

LinkedIn is mounting a legal challenge to government requests for data, although they've pledged that this will in no way prevent them from sending you a bunch of emails about people you barely know.

Walgreen's will be moving away from providing health insurance for their employees, instead sending them to the new insurance exchanges. At the heart of the issue, according to the company, was their inability to keep up with the insane cost of prescription medications.

And finally, Starbucks is banning weapons from their coffee houses across the country. It's part of their new "don't shoot us" strategy. So now you can feel comfortable ordering an extra shot.

1 comment:

  1. Banks with Peter Gallagher eyebrows.

    That thing about Walgreens is just a statement of fact, right?

    ReplyDelete

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